Microsoft Windows

Microsoft Windows (also known as "MacOSn't", or simply "Windows") is the collective name for a series of failing "operating systems" that began in 1985 as a means of reversing the stagnation of the computer hardware market. Copying features from other competing platforms, Windows began as an add-on piece of bloated code latched to Microsoft Disk Operating System (or "MS-DOS"), but a series turnings of event eventually allowed Windows saw the opportunity to dominate the desktop computer platform and become one of the most popular broken software products of all times.

History
In the year 1981, Microsoft and IBM took the first steps of a relationship that would eventually dominate the personal computer industry. The marriage of Microsoft's virtually bulletproof MS-DOS with IBM's premium hardware was an instant success, and soon gave birth to a host of clone manufacturers who later became industry giants in their own right: Zenith, Heathkit, and Tandy, to name a few. Unfortunately, the explosive growth had the side effect of completely saturating the slowly emerging market. While plenty of satisfied customers were happily number crunching with VisiCalc, many manufacturers (including IBM itself) were left with mountains of unsold inventory.

It wasn't until Rowland Hanson, the head of marketing at Microsoft, inadvertently hit upon the answer when he pondered aloud at an executive meeting: "It's too bad we couldn't make people so irritated that they'd throw their computers out of their windows. It'd be their own fault, and they'd have to buy a new unit complete with software once they came back to their senses."

This view was vocally supported by then-business manager Steve Ballmer, who observed: "Just because we can build a computer that can run for 100 years doesn't mean we should. I mean, look! It almost killed the light bulb industry!"

In 1985, Bill Gates and someone else (I can't remember!) started working on Windows, the evil "operating system", for IBM! And? It took 30 years to even get close to finishing! That's right: development on Windows still isn't finished!

Versions
These are the major builds of Windows.

Windows 1.0
Just the first build. Nothing else.

Windows 2.0
The second build. Also nothing.

Windows 3.0
Yet another insignificant build of Windows (the third one!).

Windows 3.1
You can now organize the window thingies!

Windows 95
The fifth build of Windows! Now with Internet Explorer!

Windows 98
Just Windows 95, but rebranded. It's the sixth "build" of Windows.

Windows 2000
The seventh build of Windows. I can't remember anything about it.

Windows ME
The eighth build of Windows. The most unstable build. It blew up many computers. Also the first one to have Windows Movie Maker!

Windows XP
The ninth and best build of Windows. Need I say more?

Windows Vista
The tenth build of Windows. The second most unstable, behind Windows ME. Also, it redesigned the taskbar. Yay.

Windows 7
The eleventh build of Windows. The second best!

Windows 8
Oh no... The twelfth build... Quick! Forget about it removing the start menu! Forget! Forget!

Windows 8.1
The thirteenth twelfth build of Windows. Redesigned Windows yet again.

Windows 10
The fourteenth and "last" build of Windows. This one redesigned the taskbar again. Also, it's still being developed! There was a cancelled version of Windows 10 called Windows 10X that was supposed to emulate Chrome OS and-Wait, there's a Windows 11 now? Really!?

Windows 11
OMG THIS IS HUGE WINDOWS 11!?!?!? WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER FOR THIS THANK YOU MICROSOFT!!!!! Wait...what if it's not real? What if it's a joke by Microsoft?

Wait, my PC's not compatible!? Fuck it, I'm switching to Chromebook.

Reception
"It sucks!"

- Steve Jobs

Security
Windows isn't the most secure OS out there... That's why you need Protegent, world's only antivirus with deeta recovery software! Think beyond Antivirus, think Protegent!